Almost a year I am still here... Does time heal all wounds?

On November 28th 2007, I sat in my living room adoringly admiring my 2 week old baby girl hoping that this feeling of happiness would never leave my side.When in an instant second in time that happiness turned into shear fright and confusion. I felt some heavy bleeding on my pad (after child birth woman bleed a few weeks) so I adjusted myself in my seat thinking to myself I was probably sitting awkwardly, when I noticed that the bleeding I felt was not just normal , it was extreme. I bled all over my furniture, my living room floor, my bathroom floor, I went into panic mode. I called my husband right away and told him what I was encountering. He told me to remain calm and that he would be home shortly. I kept praying that God would not take my life and leave my children without a mother( at the time ages6,4,2 and the 2 week old). By the time my husband arrived I had soaked 4 towels which were stuck to the floor, by this time I took my pants off and sat on another towel, pamper and a dishtowel which when I stood up my husband could not tell that is what it was. My home look like a murder scene. He gave me a pair of sweat pants and he grabbed my baby and we rushed off to the closest hospital which was 6minutes away.My husband tells me he did not realize how much blood I had actually lost until he went back home an surveyed the damage. He parked the car and walked me and the baby to the emergency room. I began to feel very light headed and could no longer see in front of me and I kept relaying to him my ordeal when all of a sudden I woke up face first in a small pool of blood and in that small pool laid my front tooth. I turned and looked at him and he was pale in the face. He had my daughter in her carrier in one hand and a blank look loomed across his face. I let out a shrieking scream and all who could hear ran into the hallway and put me in a gurney. I could not believe that in a matter of seconds my whole life could change. I spent 4 days in ICU and 5 days in CCU. I received 9 pints of blood,I had a partial hysterectomy and found myself taking blood thinners because of the trauma I received they found a blood clot in my leg. Like I said in the title "Almost a year and I am still here" I am no longer on blood thinners and I am coping with my hysterectomy, i have 4 kids was not done having babies but grateful and happy with my brood now (7,5,3,and 10 months) and are beautiful and healthy.Today I had an implant surgically placed in my gum where I lost my tooth when i collapsed, it hurt like a mofo...LOL Does time heal all wounds??? I am now getting my mouth repaired but my mind and soul have received a trauma that slowly need time to mend. I feel like we are headed in the right direction. This November will be bitter sweet. My daughter will be a year old ( a big girl she is) but as well it will be a time to reflect on how close it came to being the end of my time. If my husband would of been any later, traffic would of been an issue or if I would have never called him I would not be writing this tonight. I am truly grateful for the chance Ive been given. Now that I am healing due to my surgery I am feeling a bit melancholy and the question arose... Does time heal all wounds?? I guess so...

D~

Suenos

Suenos prohibido.
sonanado en ti
me corre la mente
Viendo tu cara
me duele el alma
cuando sera la ultima
Suenos prohibido
no puedo comprender
te pido que me deje
para yo poder
viver mi vida en pas
y tranquilida. Sin....
Suenos de mi amante
Suenos prohibido....

The beginning...

I never thought that I would have started a blog. My mom told me one morning that she started one and I laughed at the thought of my mom (blogging).. Just sounds weird.
One day I found myself with no one to talk to or share my thoughts with so I figured why not.
I can see why she started the blog. My mom doesn't work and spends a lot of time home. A cancer survivor she spent a lot of time at home alone. I thought it was off the wall but I honestly support her blogging 100%. I wish I lived closer so I can actually sit with her and be able to talk to her and share our thoughts over coffee and ha has'. I moved away from her about 13 years ago to improve my life and its a lot better than it was but I still carry those ugly skeletons in my closet. I am hoping with starting a blog I can sort out a lot of things in my life I have not been able to handle or deal with. Maybe even sort out a lot of the craziness in my life right now.

Good Night... Dee~